i am a shitteacher

 

The reality is education with a real teacher will only be for elites by the end of the next decade. The "masse" will get AI while the destitute will get hard labor where robots can't work (yet).

Doubt the wisdom of Shitteacher, eh?

Type your job in here: https://replaced.launchyard.app/

"teacher"

55% DOOMED
approximately 6 years until unemployment

AI tutors excel at instruction delivery, but classroom management, mentorship, and emotional support require real humans.

Kids already ask ChatGPT instead of raising their hand. But ChatGPT can't confiscate phones or explain why effort matters.

How to Survive
Khan Academy AI already tutors better than most humans in math. Your job is now mostly babysitting and emotional regulation — lean in.

The classroom is a chaos management problem that no AI has solved. This is your entire moat. Guard it with your life.

You're fine for now, but when hologram tutors can do recess duty, check back with us.

The interviewer doesn't show up.
But ST looks so pretty with a fresh shave, wearing a white-collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up, grandfather's red and gray tie with chevrons, a half Windsor. ST was having a great hair day, too.

But no interviewer. ST plays with all the settings thinking this must be ST's fault as ST is obvious so fucking inept proven by the number of times ST has been ghosted in the job hunt.

Alas, ST checks the chat box on the platform where ST first applied and finds this:

Dear [Shitteacher]，good morning. First,I thank for you booking our interview. Unfortunately, today I have to go out temporarily.This is a private tutoring class, has two Kids ,they are currently studing Oxford Discover Book3 now. We are looking for an experienced teacher .We will rpovide course materials including grammar.We will provide course materials,including grammar exercises,reading comprehension,and speaking practice.We offer 25 US dollars per hour.If you are interested, we will send you an offer and you can do a trial lesson first.Thank you.

ST will try anything at this point, so ST in the best of brown-nosing, lapping it up language, "I am interested in this opportunity. Thank you."

Like a day later, ST gets the contract and sees it will involve using dodgy af apps out of China, that the pay is $18 for one student and $25 for 2-4 and other delights. Eventually, ST signs—no choice. After signing the contract, ST gets a note saying ST needs Classin to connect and get to the platform for teaching. ST gets Classin, connects to the contact person, then ... nothing.

Nothing fucking happens for days.

Man, ST looked so fucking good for that interview ...

Shitteacher sees ad for "Copy Editor - American English - Remote"

The qualifications:
We are looking for someone who demonstrates exceptional command of English, strong editorial judgment, and a meticulous eye for detail. This role requires consistent engagement and reliability over time.

This exemplifies ST. So ST applies. Then applies again. Then a third time. Finally, ST makes an account on the scam site, sets a profile picture and applies again. The website is nothing but a honeypot. No matter what ST does, upon clicking "Submit Application" a blue and gray spinning ball of death appears. Nothing ever happens. Nothing is ever "submit".

Upon a deeper look, the whole website is a clunker. There are all the usual bullshit jobs listed, no doubt scraped from some master list somewhere.

"Copy Editor - American English - Remote" pays $50-$60 USD an hour for a minimum 20 hour a week commitment.

That is akin to showing up at the corner with a pickup truck and telling the folks standing there fighting for crumbs of work that you'll give them a job.

The AI predators are out and feeding on the populace and the populace barely notices. That's the point. Pacify, distract, subdue, dominate, enslave.

ST is more and more convinced the future is a cross between "The Creator" and "Elysium".

😱 😱 😱 😱

Look at these awesome job postings:

South Korea (Remote)
$40-$120 / hour
Cultural Content Reviewer

South Korea (Remote)
$40-$120 / hour
Audio Transcription Specialist

South Korea (Remote)
$40-$120 / hour
AI Training Specialist

South Korea (Remote)
$40-$120 / hour
Content Writer

South Korea (Remote)
$40-$120 / hour
Prompt Writer

South Korea (Remote)
$40-$120 / hour
Bilingual Document Annotator

South Korea (Remote)
$18 per hour equivalent
Freelance Annotator (English) - AI Trainer

South Korea (Remote)
$25+ per hour
Freelance Korean to English Translator

South Korea (Remote)
$40/hr
Korean Content Editor – Proofreading & Quality Assurance |

South Korea (Remote)
$40/hr - $120/hr
AI Policy, Ethics & Compliance Analyst

South Korea (Remote)
$40/hr
Korean Copy Editor – AI Content

South Korea (Remote)
??? for 15 hrs a week
Maori Bilingual Experts

ST is qualified for exactly none of this shit. ST has already tried.

This is ST's favorite:

Literature Specialist – Freelance AI Trainer Project

Buried at the bottom:
A degree in literature, English, comparative literature, or a related humanities field is preferred but not required. Teaching experience, academic research, editorial work, or extensive reading and writing experience are all valuable indicators of fit. Clear, metacognitive communication—explicitly articulating reasoning and interpretive steps (“showing your work”)—is essential.

🙄

Yeah, ST already tried this one. The AI interviewer decided ST was no qualified just like the AI decided ST has no experience teaching ESL to adult learners and does not meet the requirements to teach ESL.

In other news, AI has decided ST is good enough to keep giving it money every month to barf out the internet with emojis and help ST master ST's skewb.

The survey has a question and a scale from 0 (not likely) to 10 (extremely likely). It has two questions.

Question 1: How likely is it that you would recommend [fake job ad gig company] to a friend or colleague?

0

Question 2: We understand something may not have met your expectations. Could you tell us what didn’t work well for you so we can take action on it?

(Shitteacher, ST for short, holding a quadbarrell shotgun, opens a volley!)
[ST is] certain the job postings are a scam. Every AI interview is less about [ST's] experience and more about how I would explain [ST's] experience to an AI or an AI development team to get an AI to return better information. In one particular interview, one where [ST] "Did Not Qualify", [ST] refused outright to answer questions which would have required [ST] to give up learned experience and IP. That job was: Adult Basic Education, Adult Secondary Education, or English as a Second Language Instructor. [ST has] a masters in TESL and much of [ST's] career has been spent teaching ESL. [ST has] experience teaching ESL to adults. Another job [ST] did not qualify for is 'English Instructor'. This is literally what [ST does] for a living. Meanwhile, a job [ST] started to apply for then saw that [ST] was not qualified for at all (the ad poster lied about the scope of the job), yet it shows as "Hiring manager reviewing" though [ST] did not do the AI interview at all because [ST] am not a linguist. The tip off that the jobs are fake is that the pay is insane compared to going industry rate. But [ST thinks] the insane prices are part of the objective: to get lots of people to give up their IP for free in fake interviews which are being used to train AIs.

Basically, Shitteacher is openly advocating to the world to never answer job ads which route back to this or any other middleman gig company when those ads are too good to be true. If one gets into this quagmire, then is in an AI interview where the questions are not about experience or what one would do in work situation, but about how one would explain something about the work to an AI development team or an AI or what wording one would use in an AI prompt, walk the fuck away because one is being scammed. More than this, one is being robbed in the same way if one created a painting or wrote a story and an AI bot copied it then used elements of one's creation to make other stories and paintings with credit or compensation.

Experience, especially learned experience, is what AI development teams and AI companies are rushing to learn now. They have already mastered shitty emails, terrible writing, clichéd storytelling, the visual arts. Now the race is about being able to tell stories and design classes. Next it will be actual teaching, lawyering, and medicine.

Dear Shitteacher,

We would like to thank you for showing an interest in this position. While your qualifications are impressive, however, the selection process is highly competitive, and after a thorough evaluation, we regret to inform you that you have not been successful at this stage.

We wish you all the best in the future endeavors.

This is an automated message. Please do not reply directly to this email.

If you have questions about Application, Demo Class Interview, contract, qualifications, and Orientation, please email [some online outfit].

Best Regards,


Recruitment Department


* Gasp! * What did Shitteacher do to earn such a burn? Well, Shitteacher remarked that the pay for [some online outfit] was lower than expected ... $12-$15 an hour. Shitteacher was committed anyway, but remarked that one could only block out 6-9pm Monday through Friday for [some online outfit] if one got a lot of classes whereas if [some online outfit] only saw fit to assign Shitteacher a couple of class a week, well that wouldn't be sustainable and therefore Shitteacher would commit to being a weekend teacher.

** On a side note, this was a TPR affair with lots of goofy gesturing and hand signals, the kind of crap that dulls Shitteacher's mind, then there was the pay scale, so no great loss really. Rather, just another annoyance for time wasted prepping, keeping fucked up hours to make the interview rested and then listening to another fucking grown up pretend they are a child (cue max eye roll)—these are the worst kind of interviews after AI shenanigan interviews.

Some teachers are really cut out for TPR. Shitteacher is not one of those teachers, but HUNGRY and BROKE overrode Shitteacher's sense of rational. (This will happen more and more the longer this unemployment lingers on.)

Another gripe is that most online teaching jobs are cued into the gig economy and do not want FT teachers. They want subcontractors who treat the work as their second job. A lot of them also demand exclusivity and blocked off hours. It like asking a department store to hold the door open for me 24/7/365 because I might want to walk through it. <insert comic of Godzilla walking back into the sea away from the city while giving two middle fingers>

So what does Shitteacher do? Another AI interview! This one is for [Gig company with fake job ads designed to get you to give up your learned experience to improve our models] and the job is "English Teacher Expert" and it pays $40-$95 an hour. This is a scam because all remote teaching companies pay like $6 an hour if one is Filipino or more than $20 an hour if you have a teaching credential and other hidden features Shitteacher has yet to discern (but suspects they are: whiteness, tooth whiteness, teeth straightness, appearance crackerness, movie star likeness). Shitteacher has only managed to land at companies that will pay $20 an hour (and there are no classes for Shitteacher at these companies). No one on this fucking planet is going to pay any teacher $95 an hour for remote teaching.

Surprise, surprise during the 33 minutes of life Shitteacher snuffs out, the AI's questions are increasing obsessed with what spectific language Shitteacher would use to blah blah blah. What steps would Shitteacher take to handle a non-speaking student; what language would Shitteacher use? How would Shitteacher differentiate student needs with demands of parents, admins, and stakeholders? How would Shitteacher handle error correction in the lesson? How would Shitteacher keep students talking? How would Shitteacher track student progress? What steps would Shitteacher take to have a defensible position when failing a student? What specific words would Shitteacher use? Again and again and again.

The answer AI? You want the answer AI?

Shitteacher would show fucking empathy and watch how students interact (or not in class). How would Shitteacher talk with that student without calling them out? Oh, deary me, it seems such an impossible task to not call a student out in class and make them feel like garbage for not participating ... /s It only seems that way if you are a programmer working on an LLM trying to master "teaching" and "lesson planning" like pumping gas and tallying how much to charge the card for has been mastered. Here's the trick AI: you don't be a fucking piece of shit when talking with another human. You have empathy. You read body language. You reach out and connect with that student not about the class or studying, you just check-in with a simple, "How are you?"

Shitteacher hates AI interviews more than any single human right now. The dummies who set up these fake jobs to pad their LLMs are a close fucking second though.

Basque Trilingual Language Specialist - Freelance AI Trainer Project

Are you fluent in Basque, English, and at least one additional language, and eager to apply your linguistic expertise to the future of AI? Large-scale language models are transforming how blah blah blah

..

We offer a pay range of $6 to $65 per hour, with the exact rate determined after evaluating your experience, expertise, and geographic location. Final offer amounts may vary from the pay range listed above. As a contractor you’ll supply a secure computer and reliable internet connection; company-sponsored benefits such as health insurance and PTO do not apply.

* Shitteacher's comment: These "jobs" are sketch. Contract to contract gig work with no benefits and the end goal of making AI and some billionaire's LLM more robust to cannibalize more jobs all for six USD an hour (or more).
Job title: Basque Trilingual Language Specialist – AI Trainer

Shitteacher:
안녕하세요! [Korean Job Site]에서 영어 교사 채용공고를 보고 연락드립니다. 원어민 영어 교사를 채용하실 의향이 있으신가요? 저는 Shitteacher입니다. 미국사람입니다. 저는 [small city]에 거주하고 있으며, 경력이 있고 제 비자도 있습니다.
(Hello! I saw your post on [Korean Job Site] for an English Teacher. Are you willing to hire a Native English speaker? I am Shitteacher. I am an American. I am from [small city], I have experience, and I have my own visa.)

Place near the train station with a job post that says looking for any teacher:
안녕하세요 선생님!
이 메일로
readingus@naver.com
이력서 부탁드려요^^
(Hello Teacher! Sent your resume to this email^^)

Shitteacher:
보냈습니다 😊
(I sent it😊)

Place near the train station with a job post that says looking for any teacher:
[crickets]

* Shitteacher's comment: In the email I stated what I hoped could be possible and that the job as offered: PT maybe 12 hours a week total could work if they liked my resume ... that was three days ago. Proof that Shitteacher has a shitresume.

Shitteacher:
안녕하세요! [Korean Job Site]에서 영어 교사 채용공고를 보고 연락드립니다. 원어민 영어 교사를 채용하실 의향이 있으신가요? 저는 Shitteacher입니다. 미국사람입니다. 저는 [small city]에 거주하고 있으며, 경력이 있고 제 비자도 있습니다.
(Hello! I saw your post on [Korean Job Site] for an English Teacher. Are you willing to hire a Native English speaker? I am Shitteacher. I am an American. I am from [small city], I have experience, and I have my own visa.)

Place near my house with a job post that says looking for any teacher:
네~저희는 현재 원어민 포지션 선생님이 아니라 한국인 선생님 포지션의 선생님을 구하고 있습니다~원어민 모집할때 연락드릴께요~교포이실까요?
(Yes~ We are currently looking for a teacher in the Korean position, not a native speaker~ I will contact you when we recruit native speakers~ Are you Korean-American?)

Shitteacher:
교포아니다^^ 제 자기소개 영상입니다
(I'm not Korean-American^^ This is my self-introduction video)

Place near my house with a job post that says looking for any teacher:
[crickets]

Being ghosted proves that I am a shitteacher.

DM:
Hello, this is [Vegetable Worldwide]. We found your resume on [Formerly Scandalous Job Site]. Native English junior classes will open in [neighborhood 5 fucking hours away] starting in April.
We may offer about 2–3 hours of classes per day / Pay: 50,000 per hour. Please let me know if you’re interested :)

*text me here: [nom-nom-nom]

Shitteacher:
Thanks but [neighborhood 5 fucking hours away] is in [another fucking province], right? I live in [my province]. If you have work in [my small city] or remote work, I am interested.

Vegetable Worldwide:
no it's in [the capital, duh]~!!
you live in [that province]?

Shitteacher:
Yes, I live in [my small city] in [my province]. The title of my resume is "Looking for Work in [my small city obviously not in the capital]".

INTERVIEW INVITE
You're just one step away from moving forward with [gig ai company] for the Adult Basic Education, Adult Secondary Education, or English as a Second Language Instructor role. You can review the role here.

Your next step is to complete your AI interview with our AI recruiter. It's a conversational way for us to understand your experience, motivation, and fit for the role.

JOB
Adult Basic Education, Adult Secondary Education, or English as a Second Language Instructor; part time, remote; 1 openings; 13 skills match your profile


THOUGHTS
Awesome, I have a masters in TESL and lots of experience working with adults on ESL.

AI Interview Experience
Good, I'm killing it until the AI wants to know what kind of feedback I would give to a development team when using AI for lesson planning. Mwuhh? My answer is I would not use AI for lesson planning because AI lesson plans are boring af. The AI interviewer presses on, it wants to know what is wrong with AI lesson plans and what I would say to a development team about those error. I point out I already stated what is wrong with AI lesson plans to the AI interviewer. The AI interviewer insists that I give this information. I respond that if the AI interviewer wants my IP then pay for it with a job. The AI interviewer says it respects my stance on this matter then proceeds to ask me what kind information I would include in a report to a development team about an AI generated lesson plan that I am unhappy with. I refused to answer this line of questioning. The AI interviewer concludes the interview.

RESULT
You didn't meet the required criteria for this particular role. Our team may still reach out if they consider you are a good fit for another role.

An absolute shocker! Never saw that coming!

Hello, Mr. Shitteacher

Thank you for letting [independent hagwon near your house] know about your situation. [independent hagwon near your house] understands that this must be an important decision for you. Currently, [independent hagwon near your house] is finalizing [independent hagwon near your house's] hiring process and will not be moving forward at this stage. If any opportunity opens in the future, [independent hagwon near your house] will be happy to reach out.

[independent hagwon near your house] truly appreciates your interest in [independent hagwon near your house], and [independent hagwon near your house] wishes you the very best in your decision and future plans.

Kind regards,
[independent hagwon near your house]

=========

Shitteacher learned a couple of weeks ago that [independent hagwon near your house] hired someone from the US who won't even arrive until April. This is the ultimate proof that I am a shitteacher.

[In response to Shitteacher's request to fix technical and legal issues with the contract before signing it]

That is understandable. However, as I said [big four-letter chain hagwon] do[es]n't like to revise the contract. And while I know this contract is originally designed for an E2 visa, but I have been informed that it has previously been used for F6 visa without any issues.

=========

Yeah, Shitteacher won't sign contracts that put Shitteacher at a legal disadvantage that should not even exist just because other F6 holders did it or [big four-letter chain hagwon] says they did. Pass.

Hi Shitteacher,

You’ve successfully completed the AI interview.

Congrats!

Best wishes,
[Gig company with fake job ads designed to get you to give up your learned experience to improve our models] team

Dear Shitteacher

Thank you for your time and effort throughout our recruitment process.

The ESL industry is very competitive, and we must often make difficult choices between many high-calibre candidates.

We’ve decided to not progress with your application for this position; however, we think that you may be a great fit for future roles with us. We’d therefore like to keep your details on file so that we can contact you should we find a suitable match in future.

Please let us know if you’d prefer that we remove your details from our records.

Best regards,

Dear Shitteacher,

Thank you for your interest in [Russian Online Teaching company].

We’re impressed by your qualifications and experience. Unfortunately, due to a freeze for US-citizen teachers, we must temporarily put your application on hold. Be assured, that we’ll keep your details secure and contact you once we are ready to proceed with your application.

We appreciate your understanding and patience. For any questions, feel free to reach out.

Best regards,

Teacher Operations Department
[Russian Online Teaching company] Inc

Hi Shitteacher,

Thank you for being part of the [redacted] network. Based on your profile, we think you're a great match for the Korean Bilingual Generalist project, which is actively recruiting right now.

• Up to $30.00/hr
• Flexible hours

The project is set to kick off soon, and applications will be reviewed on a rolling basis.

If you're interested, please apply here!

Best,
The [redacted] Team


=========


Dear AI,

Being in Korea does not mean Shitteacher is bilingual. Your logical leap has led you to a false assumption. This is part of why I hate your interview style so much. Your interviews are worse than human interviews where the interviewer has never seen your CV and just asks random and silly questions.

Thanks but no thanks,

Shitteacher

Hi Shitteacher,

Thank you so much for applying to Literature Specialist and for taking the time to go through our process. After careful consideration, we won’t be moving forward with your application for this role.

Please know this decision is only for this position, it doesn’t affect any active projects you’re working on or your future applications with Mercor. We’d love for you to keep exploring and [giving up your IP in more AI interviews for fake job] on our platform .

We truly appreciate your interest and look forward to seeing you apply again soon.

Thanks for your understanding,
The [redacted] Team

Dear Mr. Shitteacher,

Thank you for your interest in the Professor position at [university kinda far from your town].

After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that we will not be proceeding with your application at this time. While your qualifications and experience are highly valued, we have selected candidates whose profiles more closely align with the current needs of the department.

We sincerely appreciate the time and effort you invested in the application process and wish you continued success in your academic and professional endeavors.

Sincerely,

Admin with a job

Dear Hiring Committee,

Please accept my application for [Teacher] with the [department] at [university in that town you used to renew your visa].

Three key details about me:
more than 5 years of university teaching experience
Master of Education
I have my own visa

Attached to this email per the application instructions for your review:
application form
personal information agreement
cv and cover letter
diplomas and transcripts
career certificates
two recommendation letters
passport and ARC
criminal records check

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,


Shitteacher

Dear Mr. Shitteacher,

Thank you for your application.

Please send your resume and we will review it and get back to you for a meeting with our director, if necessary.

Please note that this week and next week I am visiting [Asian country] and [Southeast Asian country], so it could be difficult to respond quickly sometimes. It could be taking time for the arrangement for further development during my overseas stay for 2 weeks.

Thank you for your patience in advance.

Best Regards,

Dude with a job

Dear Shitteacher

Greetings from the [hiring department] at [that university three cities over].

The [department] interview review has been completed.

After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that your application was not successful on this occasion.

We sincerely appreciate the time and effort you invested in applying and participating in the interview.

Thank you very much for your interest in [that university three cities over] and [department].

Sincerely,

[department]
[that university three cities over]

Hello, Candidate.

Thank you very much for your sincere effort and dedication throughout the interview and evaluation process.
All of the candidates were highly qualified, and we would have liked to invite everyone to join us. However, due to limitations in the number of available positions, we regret to inform you that we are unable to proceed with your appointment at this time.

We sincerely hope to have the opportunity to meet again on another occasion.

From Admin with a job in [top-end university in another province]

Hello,

Thank you for submitting an application for our upcoming school year at [midrange university in your city]. We have filled all positions at this time.

Thank you for your interest, but we will not be proceeding with your application.

Respectfully,

Teacher with a Job

I am an experienced teacher, but there are no interviews from these ads. The only logical conclusion is that I am a shitteacher

There are no jobs though. This is because I am a shitteacher.

Therefore, I am a shitteacher.

... because, obviously, I am a shitteacher. This is what shitteachers do, spam anyone and everyone who says they are looking for a teacher. SPAM applications are the universal language parlance of "hey, I am totally not a shitteacher!"

This is proof that I am a shitteacher.

This is proof that I am a shitteacher.

This is proof that I am a shitteacher.

This is proof that I am a shitteacher.

This is proof that I am a shitteacher.